1991 January/February issue Part 2

The Angel in the Cell

My brother David Howard does a lot of travelling and comes back with wonderful stories. Last June when the six of us Howards with our spouses got together for a reunion Dave told us this one, heard from the son of the man in the story.

   A man we’ll call Ivan, prisoner in an unnamed country, was taken from his cell, interrogated, tortured and beaten nearly to a pulp. The one comfort in his life was a blanket. As he staggered back to his cell, ready to collapse into that meager comfort, he saw to his dismay that somebody was wrapped up in it- an informer, he supposed. He fell on the filthy floor, crying out, “I can’t take it any more!” whereupon a voice came from the blanket, “Ivan, what do you mean you can’t take it any more?” Thinking the man was trying to get information to be used against him, he didn’t explain. He merely repeated what he had said.

   “Ivan,” came the voice, “have you forgotten that Jesus is with you?”

   Then the figure in the blanket was gone. Ivan, unable to walk a minute ago, now leaped to his feat danced round the cell praising the Lord. In the morning the guard who had starved and beaten him asked who had given him food. No one, said Ivan.

   “But why do you look so different?”
   “Because my Lord was with me last night.”

   “Oh, is that so? And where is your Lord now?”

   Ivan opened his shirt, pointed to his heart- “Here.”

   “O.K. I’m going to shoot you and your Lord right now,” said the guard, pointing a pistol at Ivan’s chest.

   “Shoot me if you wish. I’ll go to be with the Lord.”

   The guard returned his pistol to his holster, shaking his head in bewilderment.

Later Ivan learned that his wife and children had been praying for him on that same night as they read Isaiah 15:14, “the cowering prisoner will soon be set free; they will not die in their dungeon, nor will they lack bread.”
   Ivan was released shortly thereafter, and continued faithfully to preach the Gospel until he died in his eighties. 

1990 September/October issue Part 2

Prayer

• For the greatest need for today's children; holy parents. Pray for them, that God will give them holy wisdom in teaching children to pray, to love God, to set their aims far above transitory things; wisdom in helping children decide about education and extra-curricular things which sometimes become too great a burden
• For the greatest need of today's churches: holy pastors.
• For Christian men in the business world, that they may be shielded from strong pressure to gain the whole world and thus lose their souls.

1990 July/August issue Part 2

Prayer

“When Thou rememberest what relates to me, think of me only in the light of Thy mercy- forget all else, O Thou, my injured and justly offended God, my unspeakable gracious Benefactor. Put out of sight all that has severed between me and Thee.” (William Kay’s note on Psalm 25:7)

1990 May/June issue Part 2

Chronicle of a Soul
I kept a five year diary from high school through college, and began spiritual journals during my senior year in college (1848) which I continue to keep. These are chronicles of growth, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It is astounding to go back through them and learn things I had completely forgotten. It is wonderfully faith-strengthening to see that indeed “all the way my Saviour leads me,” hears my prayers, supplies my prayers, teaches me of Himself. As God said to Israel, “Thou shallt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led these forty years in the wilderness.” My memory is poor. A journal is a record of His faithfulness (and my own faithfulness too- which teaches me to value His grace and mercy). If you decide to begin recording your pilgrimage, buy yourself a notebook (one of those pretty flowered clothbound blank books available in gift and stationary stores) and begin to put down (not necessarily everyday):

1990 May/June issue Part 1

The Absence of Feeling in the Devotional Life

"I am sporadic in my devotions,” writes a Newsletter reader (who happens to be my daughter!), “though I am up pretty early regularly by 5.30am there are many mornings when my mind and heart are too dull and cold to learn of Him.”

1990 January/February issue Part 3

Prayer and Feelings

   Our adversary the devil has many tricks to keep us from praying effectively. C.S. Lewis gives us a glimpse at some of them in his Screwtape Letters, in which an older demon is instructing a younger one in a few of those tricks:
   “Whenever they are attending to the enemy [i.e., God] Himself we are defeated. But there are some ways of preventing them of doing so. The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds and trying to produce feelings there by the action of their own wills. When they meant to ask Him for charity, let them, instead, start trying to manufacture charitable feelings for themselves and not notice that this is what they are doing. When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave. When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven. Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feelings; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at the moment” (The Screwtape Letters, pp. 19-21).

1989 September/October issue Part 1

The Effectual Fervent Prayer of a Mother

"Thou sentest Thine hand from above, and drewest my soul out of that profound darkness- my mother, that faithful one, weeping to Thee for me, more than mothers weep the bodily deaths of their children. For she, by that faith and spirit which she had from Thee, discerned the death wherein i lay, and Thou heardest her, O Lord; Thou heardest her, and despisedst not her tears, when streaming down, they watered the ground under her eyes [he alludes here to that devout manner of the Eastern ancients, who used to lie flat on their faces in prayer] in every place where she prayed; yea Thou heardest her... Thine ears were towards her heart. O Thou God omnipotent, who so caredst for every one of us, as if Thou carest for him only; and so for all, as if they were but one!"

(Confessions of St.Augustine)

1989 January/February issue Part 2

Prayer
Dear Lord, help me to live this day
quietly; easily;
To lean upon Thy great strength
trustfully; restfully;
To meet others
peacfully; joyously;
To face tomorrow
confidently; courageously.

1988 November/December issue Part 2

An Atheists Prayer Answered
  In his work with the World Evangelical Fellowship my brother David Howard has contact with many who live in countries where there is no freedom. In one of them he heard this true story:
  A pastor’s son in the second grade faced continuous Marxist and atheistic indoctrination in class every day. One day it went like this:
  Teacher: “Some people say there is a God up in heaven who will give you what you ask for. Let’s test that out and see if he does. We need more books, workbooks, paper, and pencils in this school. Let’s ask God to give them to us. “
  She then prayed, asking God to send these things. Nothing happened. “See, children? There is no God up in heaven. He didn’t hear us and He didn’t send anything. “
  That afternoon as school was letting out, a big truck loaded with education materials (books, workbooks, paper, and pencils) drove up and began to unload. The children called the teacher: “Teacher! Teacher! Come quickly! Here are the things we asked God to send! See? He sent them!”

1988 November/December issue Part 1

A Prayer for the Middle-Aged

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing old... keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom (?) it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

  Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others’ pains but help me to endure them with patience.

  I dare not ask for an improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

  Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint – some of them are so hard to live with- but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. Give me the grace to tell them so. Amen. (From my mother’s little red note book, source unknown.)

1988 September/October issue Part 2

Prayer
This simple formula for prayer was sent by my nephew Gene Howard, just returning from mission work in Nepal.

Present my requests.
Relinquish my desires.
Accept His answers.
Yield my life.

1988 July/August issue Part 4

A Wife's Prayer for Her Husband
Lord, grant me the vision of a true lover as i look at                 . Help me to see him through Your eyes, to read the thoughts he does not put into words, to bear with his human imperfections, remembering that he bears with mine and that You are at work in both of us. Thank you, Lord, for this man, Your carefully chosen gift to me, and for the high privilege of being heirs together for the grace of life. Help me to make it as easy and pleasant as i possibly can for him to do Your will.

1988 May/June issue Part 6

Prayer

May He support us all the day long until
the shadows lengthen,
evening comes,
the busy world is hushed,
the fever of life is over,
and our work is done.
Then, in His mercy, may He give us
A safe lodging,
A holy rest,

And peace at last.

(Cardinal Newman)

1988 March/April issue Part 4

The Little Red Notebook
several readers wanted more from the little red notebook i found among my mother's things when she died last year. Someone wanted prayers for grandchildren. Here is one from mother's notebook;

Holy Father, in Thy mercy, hear our

anxious prayer;

Keep our loved, ones now far distant,

'neath Thy care.

Jesus Saviour, let Thy presence be their

light and guide;

Keep, O keep them, in their weakness,

at Thy side.

When in sorrow, when in danger, when

in loneliness,

In Thy love look down and comfort

their distress.

May the joy of Thy salvation be their

strength and stay,

May they love and may they praise Thee

day by day.

Holy Spirit; let Thy teaching sanctify

their life;

Send Thy grace that they may conquer

in the strife.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, God the One

in Three,

Bless them, guide them, save them,

keep them near to Thee.

(I.S. Stevenson, 1869)

1988 January/February issue Part 1

Prayer

O Lord my God, make me obedient without argument, poor without embarrassment, chaste without prudishness, patient without complaint, humble without hypocrisy, joyful without silliness, mature without grouchiness, eager without thoughtlessness, reverent without servility, truthful without guile, forceful without presumption, willing to correct my brother without superiority, and to help him by word and deed without pretence.

(St. Thomas Aquinas)

1987 September/October issue Part 4

Prayer

Loving Lord and Heavenly Father, I offer up today all that I am, all that I have, all that I do, to be Yours today and Yours forever. Give me grace, Lord, to do all that I know of Your holy will. Purify my heart, sanctify my thinking, correct my desires. Teach me, in all of today's work and trouble and joy, to respond with honest praise, simple trust, and instant obedience, that my life may be in truth a living sacrifice, by the power of Your Holy Spirit and in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ, my Master and my all. Amen.

1987 May/June issue Part 3

Prayers

The following suggestions for intercession are abridged from Lancelot Andrewes' Private Devotions:

for those who have a claim on me

from kinship,-for brothers and sisters, that God's blessing may be on them and on their children;

or from benefits conferred,-that Thy recompence may be on all who have benefitted me, who have ministered to me in spiritual, material, or physical things;

or from trust placed in me,- those whom I have educated, employed, served, influenced;

or from natural kindness,-for all who love me, though I know them not;

or from Christian love,-for those who hate me without cause, or even on account of truth and righteosuness;

or from neighbourhood,-those who dwell near me;

or from promise,-for all whom I have promised to remember in prayers;

or from mutual office,-for all who remember me in their prayers and ask of me the same;

or from stress of engagements,-for all who for any sufficient cause fail to call upon Thee.

1987 January/February issue Part 1

Prayer Is Conflict

Prayer is no easy pastime. As I grow old I find that I am more conscious than ever of my need to pray, but it seems at the same time to become more of a struggle. It is harder to concentrate, for one thing. I was greatly helped by some private notes Amy Carmichel wrote to her "Family" (hundreds of children and their helpers, both Indian and European) in Dohnavur, South India, to help them prepare for a special day of prayer. She quoted Paul's letter to the Colossians.(2:1): "I would that ye knew what great conflict I have for you." He is referring at least in part to the conflict of prayer. The same verse is translated "how greatly I strive" in the Revised Version; "how deep is my anxiety" in J.B. Philips; and, in the Jerusalem Bible, "Yes, I want you to know that I do have to struggle hard for you ... to bind you together in love and to stir your  minds, so that your understanding may come to full development, until you really know God's secret in which all the jewels of wisdom and knowledge are hidden."

Here are Amy's notes:

With what do I struggle?

1. With all that says to me, what is the use of your praying? So many others, who know more of prayer than you do, are praying. What difference does it make whether you pray or not? Are you sure that your Lord is listening? Of course He is listening to the other prayers but yours are of such small account, are you really sure He is "bending His ear" to you?

2. With all that suggests that we are asked to give too much time to prayer. There is so much to do. Why set aside so much time just to pray?

3. With all that discourages me personally- perhaps the rememberance of past sin, perhaps spiritual or physical tiredness; with anything and everything that keeps me back from what occupied St. Paul so often-vital prayer.

What will help me most in this wrestle?

1. The certain knowledge that our insignificance does not matter at all, for we do not come to the Father in our own name but in the Name of His beloved Son. His ear is always open to that Name. Of this we can be certain.

2. The certain knowledge that this is Satan's lie; he is much more afraid of our prayer than our work. (This is proved by the immense difficulties we always find when we set ourselves to pray. They are much greater than those we meet when we set ourselves to work.)

3. Isaiah 44:22 and kindred words, with 1 John 1:9, meets all distress about sin. Isaiah 40:29-31 with 2 Corinthians 12:9,10 meets everything that spiritual or physical weariness can do to hinder. Psalm 27:8 with Isaiah 45:19 meets all other difficulties. And the moment we say to our God, "Thy face, Lord, will I seek," His mighty energies come to the rescue. (See Colossians 1:2, 9) Greater, far greater, is He that is in us than He that is against us. Count on the greatness of God. But are we to go on wrestling to the end?

No, there is a point to which we come, when, utterly trusting the promise of our Father, we rest our hearts upon Him. It is then we are given what St. Paul calls access with confidence (Eph 3:12). But don't forget that this access is by faith, not by feeling, faith in Him our living Lord; He who says "Come unto Me" does not push us away when we come. As we go on, led by the Holy Spirit who so kindly helps our infirmities, we find ourselves in 1 John 5:14, 15 and lastly in Philippians 4:6, 7. It is good to remember that immediate answer to prayer is not always something seen, but it is always inward peace.

  And if the day ends otherwise and we are discouraged? Then tell Him so, "nothing ashamed of tears upon His feet" [here she is quoting from F.W.H. Meyers's poem "St. Paul"]. Lord, Thou knowest all things. Thou knowest that I love Thee. "Yes, my child, I know." But don't settle down into an "it will never be different" attitude. It will be different if only in earnest we follow on to know the Lord.

1986 May/June issue Part 3

Prayer

"Order private devotions so that they become not arguments and causes of tediousness by their indiscreet length, but reduce your words into a narrow compass, still keeping all the matter; and what is cut off in the length of your prayers, supply in the earnestness of your spirit; for nothing is lost while the words are changed into matter and length of time into fervency of devotion. Break your office and devotion into fragments and make frequent returnings." Jeremy Taylor (seventeenth Century).

1985 November/December issue Part 6

Prayer 

Give me a pure heart
that I may see Thee,
A humble heart
that I may hear Thee,
A heart of love
that I may serve Thee,
A heart of faith,
that I may abide in Thee.
(Dag Hammerskjold)

Please pray for help as I continue to work on the biography of Amy Carmichael. Sometimes progress seems fairly rapid, at other times I feel like the wheels of the Egyptian chariots, which "drave heavily" (Ex 14:25).