1989 May/June issue Part 2

Humdudgeons or contentment

The word humdudgeon is a new word to me and I like the sound of it. It means “a loud complaint without a trifle.” Heard any of those lately around your house? One mother thought of an excellent antidote; all humdudgeons must be presented not orally but in writing, “of two hundred words or more.” There was a sudden marked reduction in whining and complaining.

   Parents, by example, teach their children to whine. No wonder it is so difficult to teach them not to! Listen to conversations in the elevator, at the hairdresser’s, at the next table in the restaurant. Everybody’s whining about everything- weather, health, the president, the IRS, the insurance mess, traffic, kids.

   Human life is full of trouble, which doesn’t come from the dust, said Job’s friend Eliphaz, nor does it sprout from the ground. Man is born to trouble. Compare your list to one famous man’s:

1. He had a difficult childhood

2. Less than one year of formal schooling

3. Failed in business at age 31

4. Defeated for legislature at 32

5. Failed again in business at 33

6. Elected to the legislature at 34

7. His fiancé died when he was 35

8. Defeated for speaker at 38

9. Defeated for electorate at 40

10. At 42 married a woman who became a burden, not a help

11. Only one of four sons lived past age 18

12. Defeated for congress at 43

13. Elected to congress at 46

14. Defeated for congress at 48

15. Defeated for senate at 55

16. Defeated for vice president at 56

17. Defeated for senate at 58

18. Finally elected president

   He was Abraham Lincoln of course. When I look at his list of set-backs I wonder if I’ve ever had a problem.

   Adler said, “It is categorical demand of the neurotic’s lifespan that he should fail through the guilt of others and thus be free of responsibility.” That sobered me. Is my response to failure instantly to lay the blame on somebody else? Is there always an excuse, a complaint, an inner whine? (May not the present emphasis- even in Christian circles- on delving into ones past exacerbate rather than cure neurosis? Ought we not simply to set about “forgetting those things which are behind,” rather than “getting in touch” with them?)

   A spirit of calm contentment always accompanies true godliness. The deep peace that comes from deep trust in God’s loving kindness is not destroyed even by the worst of circumstances, for those Everlasting Arms are still cradling us, we are always “under the mercy.” Corrie Ten Boom was “born to trouble” like the rest of us, but in a German concentration camp she jumped to her feet every morning and exuberantly sang “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus!” She thanked the Lord for the little parade of ants that marched through her cell, bringing her company. When Paul and Silas were in prison they prayed and sang. It isn’t troubles that make saints, but their response to troubles. Even miracles can’t make us holy. Paul reminded the Corinthians that the Israelites were all guided by the same cloud, all had the experience of passing through the sea, all ate the same supernatural food, and all drank the same supernatural drink. “In spite of this, most of them failed to please God and their corpses littered the desert” (1 Corinthians 10:5, Jerusalem Bible). The reason for His displeasure came down to a single root: discontent, which included “wicked lusts for forbidden things” (idols and illicit sex, for which 23,000 were killed in one day) and complaining because they wanted things perfectly legitimate in themselves which God had not given- leeks and onions and garlic and cucumbers and fish- and stood at their tent doors, parents and children together wailing: “Here we are, wasting away, stripped of everything; there is nothing but manna for us to look at!” (Numbers 11:6, JB). Man was struck with a plague and died.

   When Pauls flesh was tormented by a sharp thorn he naturally wanted it removed. He made his request known to God, but the answer was No. God didn’t change Pauls physical condition, He changed his spiritual one. He gave him what he needed more than healing. He gave him the high ministry of heaven called grace. Paul not only accepted the answer, he learned even to be very thankful for weakness itself , for “power comes to its full strength in weakness.”

   Everything about which we are tempted to complain may be the very instrument to where the Potter intends to shape His clay into the image of His Son- a headache, an insult, a long line at the check-out, someone’s rudeness or failure to say thank you, misunderstanding, disappointment, interruption. As Amy Carmichael said, “See in it a chance to die,” meaning a chance to leave self behind and say YES to the will of God, to be “comfortable unto His death.” Not a morbid martyr-complex but a peaceful and happy contentment in the assurance that goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives. Wouldn’t our children learn godliness if they saw the example of contentment instead of complaint? Acceptance instead of rebellion? Peace instead of frustration?

   May ours be the spirit of the seventeen-year-old Lady Jane Grey who prayed this prayer in her cell before she was beheaded in 1554:

O merciful God, be Thou unto me

A strong Tower of defence,

I humbly entreat Thee.

Give me grace to await Thy leisure,

And patiently to bear

What Thou doest unto me;

Nothing doubting or mistrusting

Thy goodness towards me;

For Thou knowest what is good for me

Better than I do.

Therefore do with me in all things

What Thou wilt;

Only arm me, I beseech Thee,

With Thine armor,

That I may stand fast;

Above all things talking to me

The shield of faith;

Praying always that I may

Refer myself wholly to Thy will,

Abiding Thy pleasure, and comforting myself

In those troubles which it shall please Thee

To send me, seeing such troubles are

Profitable for me; and I am

Assuredly persuaded that all Thou doest

Cannot but be well; and unto Thee

Be all honor and glory. Amen.

(For practical help teaching children not to whine and complain, see chapter 7 of The Obedient Child by Ken Wilson)